Parenting is not always easy. Most parents don’t want to be too strict with their children, but they also want them to grow up disciplined and responsible. However, some parents choose authoritarian parenting and expect their children to follow the rules without compromise. Such parents often fail to see things from a child’s point of view and get too harsh with their children. In this post, we discuss the authoritarian parenting style and its impact on children.
What Is Authoritarian Parenting?
Authoritarian parenting is characterized by high demandingness (expectations) and low responsiveness (meeting the child’s wants and interests). It focuses on obedience, discipline and control, and provides little nurturance to the child. This style is also called autocratic parenting. It is one of the three parenting styles originally propounded by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind in the 1960s (1). The other two styles are authoritative and permissive. You can know more about them here and here respectively. Authoritarian parents focus on authority. They punish the child for failures while ignoring the kid’s achievements. They expect the child to obey them by all means. An authoritarian parent typically believes, “You (the child) need to listen to me because I said so.” You can understand the style better once you know its characteristics. Let’s see them in the next section.
Characteristics Of Authoritarian Parents
The two essential aspects of authoritarian parents are high demandingness and less responsiveness. Most of the other characteristics fall into these two traits (2) 3:
High demandingness:
Authoritative parents have a long list of demands right from discipline and rules to achievements in life. They:
Low responsiveness:
The parents expect the child to perform, but they do not provide them with the necessary support. They are not there emotionally if the child fails nor appreciate when the child succeeds. They: Let’s now see some examples to understand an authoritarian parent’s mindset.
Authoritarian Parenting Examples
Example 1:
A child steals chocolate from the grocery store. When he goes home, the parents get to know about it. They spank him and punish him by not providing dinner. The parents do not try to understand why he stole the chocolate or explain why stealing is a wrong thing.
Example 2:
When the teenage kid asks his dad, “Why should I come back home by 8pm,” the authoritarian parent says, “Because I am saying and you should come back, that’s it.”
Example 3:
A family is having a get-together. While having dinner, a child accidentally drops a fork. His dad immediately yells and insults the child in front of everybody. When a parent is this strict, the impact on the child is bound to be negative. Let’s see how it affects a child.
Effects Of Authoritarian Parenting On A Child
The consequences of authoritarian parenting are mostly negative than positive. Here are some of the negative effects (3) (4) (5): There are several adverse effects of authoritarian parenting but there are a few positive ones too.
Benefits Of Authoritarian Parenting
Despite being a strict parenting style, authoritarian parenting has its advantages. Here’s how it helps: In spite of its positives, authoritarian parenting is not something psychologists recommend because authoritative parenting provides all these benefits minus the adverse effects.
Authoritarian Vs. Authoritative Parenting Styles
Experts believe that authoritarian parenting affects the child negatively while authoritative parenting is healthy and has a positive impact on the children. Here are the differences between the two: Parents do not use the same style of parenting throughout their lives; it may change depending on the child’s age and requirements at that age.
How To Change From Authoritarian To Authoritative Parenting?
Every child is unique, and each one requires a different parenting style. But if you find yourself using authoritarian approach and want to shift to authoritative style, here is how you can do that: Encourage self-discipline in your child to boost their self-esteem and self-motivation. Explain the importance and value of following rules and guide them in the right direction. Be clear about your expectations and tell them how they can reach them. View a broken rule as a life lesson rather than disobedience. Help them realize that failure is a stepping stone to success.
