A breakup often pushes a person into misery. They go through a flurry of emotions and feel a void in their life. A rebound relationship usually happens after a breakup when a person decides to be with another to overcome the pain caused by the separation. So when a person walks into your life and gives you the attention and care you need, you may mistake it for love and rush into a relationship with them. Keep reading this post as we talk about a rebound relationship, its signs, and why you shouldn’t be in it.
What Is A Rebound Relationship?
A rebound relationship is the one that starts immediately after the breakup of a long-term relationship or marriage. It is a distraction to get over the previous relationship, and a disguised attempt to move on in life. But, in reality, it could just be an excuse to escape from pain and loneliness. As the new relationship numbs the pain, it is easy to invest time in it rather than deal with the pain itself. In other words, a rebound relationship is a quick fix to get over a break-up. Rebounding can feel like love for the simple reason that the people involved in it want to be in love. They are used to the secure feeling of love, and they just want that feeling to continue, albeit with a different person. They convince themselves that they are in love when the truth is that they are missing the safety and comfort of the previous relationship. So, how do you know you are in a rebound relationship?
Signs Of A Rebound Relationship
People involved in a rebound relationship do not give themselves enough time to heal from the last relationship and move on too fast. While it’s natural to feel loved and secured in a relationship, people miss the glaring warning signs in a rebound relationship. These signs will help you know if you are in that situation:
Vent out bitterness about your ex and use your new partner as a sounding board to relieve pain.
Talk a lot about your ex, and carry feelings for them secretly.
Spend time hoping that your ex will come back to you.
Chatting with your ex on social media.
Hang out with your ex’s friends.
There is nothing wrong with having a new person in our life, and starting life afresh. But before you move into a new relationship, make sure you have completely severed your ties with your ex.
Stages of a Rebound Relationship
A rebound relationship, just like a regular one, goes through several stages. Let’s see what they are:
Stage 1 – Finding the one
The reasons for your last breakup set the premise for the new relationship. You are likely to choose a partner who is unlike your ex and thus feel vindicated. The fact that your new partner is different from your ex might make you think that you have found the right partner. This presumption might be too weak to sustain your relationship in the long run.
Stage 2 – The honeymoon phase
You have found the ‘right one,’ and everything is going well. You feel things are great and just perfect as your new partner pays you attention and you cozy up to them. This stage feels natural, but you do not know where this is taking you to. You keep comparing your ex with the new partner and you feel this is right for you. There will be moments when you tend to doubt your partner, but you sweep such doubts under the carpet. These tiny differences might soon blow up into a big issue.
Stage 3 – The breakdown stage
The little differences and misunderstandings you had in the honeymoon phase start flaring up, and you find your relationship breaking down. You fight but you don’t want to let go of the relationship because you don’t want to be left alone again. Instead of opening up about your feelings, you suppress them, and that explodes sooner than later.
Stage 4 – The explosion stage
All your suppressed feelings pile up and explode. The reasons for your last breakup seem to suit your new relationship as well. The bad part is your new partner doesn’t know the reason for your behavior because they have come to believe that all is well with you both.
Stage 5 – The end stage
You realize that the solution to a breakup is not a new relationship. You understand that to have a new relationship you need to be open in your communication and expect the same from your partner. You may give another chance to the relationship if your new partner is willing to accommodate. And if you have ended the relationship, you will have the time to introspect this time around.
Why Are Rebounds Bad?
Breakups are hard but getting into a rebound relationship just to get back at your ex or escape your loneliness is not a solution. Here’s why rebounds are bad for you: With such complications associated with the new relationship, it could be difficult to last long.
How Long Do Rebound Relationships Last?
It is not possible to predict the life of your rebound relationship. You might realize your mistake within a week into the relationship or take a few months to understand you do not want it anymore. However, what’s predictable is the various stages that your relationship could go through.
Why Rebound Relationships Fail?
The most prominent reason is the haste with which you get into a new relationship. Here are a few other reasons why rebound relationships fail:
Healing from a breakup takes time, it cannot happen overnight. Rebounders carry the emotional baggage to their new relationship, which leads to conflicts.
They are in the relationship for wrong reasons — to make their ex jealous, to have sex, or to avoid being lonely. Any relationship that lacks love and trust is bound to fail.
Moving from one relationship to the other without learning from the previous one will not help them to be successful.
A rebound relationship is not based on true love. And any relationship that is based on false beliefs cannot sustain in the long run.
The expectations are too high in a rebound relationship; the rebounders expect the new person to solve all their problems, make them feel complete, and forget the pain of the breakup. This puts a lot of pressure on the partner.
A rebound relationship is a means of distraction. Once that purpose is served, the relationship wears off.
Note that not all the new relationships (after a breakup) are rebound. You might, in all likeliness, find the right partner. There is every chance that you have taken the right decision by choosing your new partner. Also, your relationship will have a long life if you make some conscious efforts.
How Can You Make A New Relationship Last Long?
Here are a few things you need to know: Remember, your new relationship need not be a rebound relationship, especially when you have moved on even before the official breakup. Do you have anything to say about rebound relationships? Leave your comments below.
