Breakup is one of the most traumatizing, and emotionally and physically draining experiences of life. All the dreams of a happy and beautiful life with our partner fall like a pack of cards. Eventually, everyone has to come to terms with the breakup and pick up the pieces of their life. In this post on man vs woman after break up, we bring you some differences in the way men and women cope with the breakup. As they say, men are from Mars and women are from Venus, so both these genders deal with their loss of love in their own style. Read on to know the differences.
Man vs Woman After Break up: 10 Differences
1. Handling the pain
Research by Binghamton University and University College London suggests that women experience the pain of a breakup more acutely in comparison with men (1). This could probably be due to the woman being more involved in the relationship than the man, as he may try to withdraw from the pain of their romance coming to an end. Men can also struggle to connect with their emotions causing them to engage in avoidant behavior to distract themselves from it.
2. Emotional hurt
The study also found that women are more emotionally distraught after a breakup, as they tend to emotionally invest more in a relationship (1). While the man in the relationship is also traumatized, his immediate emotional pain of a breakup could be less when compared with the woman.
3. Post-breakup stress
The trauma and stress after a breakup is deep for both the man and the woman. However, men are more stressed out and try hard to divert their minds and avoid the pain. Research done by Lancaster University says that women also fight the post-breakup blues but are capable of gathering themselves better (2).
4. Timeframe to overcome breakup
As per studies, men usually take much longer to come out of a breakup, as the loss hits them very deeply and lasts for a long time. On the contrary, women process the breakup by grieving and letting out their emotions, which helps them overcome the pain sooner (1). Men struggle to process it because they avoid it, while women are able to sit with their emotion and move through it faster.
5. Expressing anger or frustration
According to popular belief, the feelings of anger and resentment after a relationship ends are higher in men when compared with women. Men could channelize this anger as an intent to avenge their exes, while the propensity to exact revenge is far less in women. Anger is often a cover emotion. Stereotypically and historically, it is viewed as more masculine to be angry rather than sad or scared. It is likely that men are outwardly showing anger or frustration, but inside are experiencing more complex emotions from the break up.
6. Wanting to get back together
Generally, the desire to get back with their partner after a breakup is greater in men than in women. Initially, men love their newfound freedom, but once that wears off, they may want their ex back. Women too grapple with guilt but try to rationalize their emotions and get on with their life.
7. Healing process
Studies show that men never heal completely from a breakup as they simply learn to live with the pain (1). As children, boys are less likely to receive the tools that women do to help them move through emotion. They are often encouraged not to address emotion. On the other hand, women are wired to recover and move on from the sadness of a relationship coming to an end.
8. Dent in self-confidence
It is believed that men view a breakup as a sign of them not being attractive anymore, more so if it’s their partner who called it quits. This shatters their confidence to smithereens. In the case of women, the loss of a relationship has got to do with letting go of a deep and meaningful emotional bond.
9. Embracing the feelings
Conventional wisdom has it that while men may find it hard to embrace the pain, frustration, despair, and guilt attached to their breakup, women embrace these feelings more easily and turn the page. Women may be more attuned to reality and may reconcile to the breakup better than the man. Men may not have the skills to process the emotion.
10. Seeking support
Studies reveal that women are willing to seek the help of loved ones and their inner circle or go to therapy to overcome the pain of a breakup (2). Dr. Ryan Boyd, lead researcher of the Lancaster University project, says, “Traditionally, women are more likely to identify relationship problems, consider therapy, and seek therapy than are men. When you remove the traditional social stigmas against men for seeking help and sharing their emotions, however, they seem just as invested in working through rough patches in their relationships as women.”
